


Truth

by luverofralts



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 13:37:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5165810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luverofralts/pseuds/luverofralts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A repost from FF.net from 2004<br/>Zim has finally won, Dib is dead...but is it what he expected? ZADR</p>
            </blockquote>





	Truth

All of my time on this putrid planet has taught me one thing, and one thing only: humans are weak. Each and every one of them, so incredibly, predictably weak.

Frailty defines humanity, with their weak limbs, so easily snapped off and their horrible...emotions. Humans talk big in order to disguise their greatest fears, but little do they realize that their greatest weakness lies within themselves.

Take Dib for example. They warned him about me, for all the good it did him. His sister, ironically enough was among the loudest voices crying against me. For a girl so far away, locked within her own limited social ventures, she was surprisingly prophetic. Oh how she had warned him!

I remember the first day of middle skool, when she and the Dib would attend different skools for the first time and she wouldn't be there to stop him from doing something stupid, something stupid like falling in love. How she had begged him to leave me alone. If only he had listened, but no, instead he chose to pursue his stupid visions, searching the world he saw through me for some trace of truth.

Ah, truth. It was the one thing Dib wanted from the world; wanted the world to see. I recall his many speeches, rants and skool projects on my being an alien with a fondness now. In hindsight, they were actually pretty amusing, but at the time they only fuelled my hatred of him.

Truth.

I still remember the look in his eyes when I told him that I loved him. Pitiful human and his emotions. He actually loved me, his sworn enemy! Pathetic. Utterly pathetic. He would never have made it in the Irken military, never would have had the strength to kill me had the need arose. Humans and their love!

Oh frailty thy name is Dib. He always was frail looking to my superior Irken eyes. Each time I ran my hand down his arm, it was like I could feel each individual bone in his arm. I felt the veins in his body as they pressed against my own; felt them carry vital blood back to his heart. It was intoxicating. Such a rush of power knowing that in a single well placed blow I could end his feeble little life. His limbs, torso, every part of him was so flimsy, so fragile.

Well, not every part....

The Dib human was frail in body, just as the other humans were, but there was one thing that set him apart from the others. It was those accursed eyes of his.

In them, I saw his spirit, his convictions, his soul. Dib wasn't exceptionally fast, nor did he have super human strength, but his boundless spirit was certainly a force to be reckoned with.

And I broke it. It sounds so simple to say that I broke his spirit, that I broke the very fiber of my nemesis' being, but it was quite a challenge one that took years to accomplish. He fought me at every turn, struggling within himself to right what I had wronged.

For one who hungered after the truth as insatiably as he did, he seemed to do everything in his power to deny what I was. I heard him cry out into his pillow during his haunted dreams at night, begging me to change, pleading for the safe restoration of his sanity. I was his enemy, and a jerk, and please God change me from the horrible menace that I was!

Those were prayers that could never be answered, not even by the Tallest themselves. Dib's problem -his main one anyway- was that his head was constantly out in space, dreaming about fantastical elements of the stars that simply didn't exist. He would ask me constantly about Irk and its many wonders, a dreamy look in his eyes at all times. He wanted to see the stars, to see what lay beyond his pathetic planet.  
  
Personally, I couldn't blame him. There were even times I wanted to share with him about all I had seen in my lengthy lifetime, as surprising as that sounds. But always I held back. I held back my stories, my feelings...my love.

No! I could never love the Dib. He was a pawn in my game for the title of Lord of all Humans...just a pawn and nothing more.

Did I kill Dib, sacrifice my pawn to kill a king, to advance further along my game of conquest? Technically, no.

I never laid a hand on him, pointed a gun, or dumped a pot of acid on his exceedingly large head. At times I had wanted to, but I never hurt his body.

Those eyes! They burn me still with that look. That one horrible look only Dib could give me, a look of resentment, of fragility.

He _knew_.

At long last, unable to deny it any longer, Dib had accepted the burden of the unholy knowledge that had been before him all along.

I had lied.

The kisses, the vows, the long nights spent staring up at the stars...all of it had been a lie. I had faked it all, leading Dib on, tricking him into living a lie. It was a lie that made him blissfully content, but it was still a lie. A lie from the person he had only wanted the truth from. A person he had trusted with his life. A scaly demon from beyond the stars. I was Zim, and I was a liar.

I should feel good about breaking the Dib beyond any hope of repair. The feeling of smug superiority, of striking my nemesis down into the filthy dirt of this planet should have filled me with inexplicable joy. But it didn't.

Those eyes of his had watched me coldly as he sunk into an abyss in which I could not follow. I had followed him there to his place of death; I had to.

Followed him to a pond. Watched as his mind unhinged, his fierce determination to be replaced with a weariness far beyond his years. He had surrendered that day. Surrendered to me, to the world and it's infinite stupidity.

Even in his brokenness, he was crafty, choosing the one place to die where I could not rescue him, where I would not follow. I'm sure it was a test, a test which I failed miserably.

If I had truly loved him, I would have followed him into the acidic water and rescued him before it was too late. Instead I watched.

Watched as he sank to the bottom of the pond, his stupid trench coat swirling around him majestically as he fell into darkness. He was broken and not only was it entirely my fault, but I also felt horrible about it.

I cried at his funeral loud and obnoxiously until Gaz threw me out, threatening to kill me if I ever came near Dib again, even in death. Stupid girl. When I rule the planet I'll...I'll.... I'll still miss Dib.

There are times I stay awake at night, watching GIR sleep soundly like the blissfully ignorant machine he is, thinking about truth. Did Dib ever find the truth before he died? Was the truth he found truly the unalterable facts? What really defined love, and how could I ever really be sure that I never felt it?

I think of him often, always sinking into the mud on the bottom of the lake, thinking that I could never feel the same way he did, dying completely alone and the thought frightens me. Is this...remorse?

Did I love the Dib or hate him? How does one define this awful burning that consumes every part of me? I may never discover the elusive reality of love or truth in my great and lengthy number of years, but I have to try...for the Dib's sake. I will try, Dib, and that's a promise I'll never break, no matter how tempting quitting may be.

I will try...for you.


End file.
